Those are the wise words of my little brother, John Douglass Ashworth. He is about 6’5″, typical Xbox addict in high school, 17 years old. Now usually John is a pretty good driver. Two years ago, August 2007 John “accidently” rear-ended another car in my brand new Yaris. I swore to him he wouldn’t drive it again.

John also has this blame everyone first attitude, and I dont give a shit personality. The “Thanks for embarassing me” context comes from a time my best friend Paige and I took John when he was younger to my gym about 5 years ago. His lack of coordination managed to knock over a large display of products. I apologized and we started picking everything up. John then yelled “THANKS FOR EMBARASSING ME” and stormed out in a huff. Now. This time John had no excuse. No one was with him, yes the conditions on the road were bad but the look on his face was priceless I think because he couldn’t use his favorite line.

Today John was sent out on some errands, pick up some groceries from Food Lion. On the way home, probably going a little too fast he hydroplanes, loses control lands in the ditch and completely takes out a telephone pole and power lines. Awesome John. Here is some of the damage. Not to my care this time thank god. (He wouldn’t have survived). This time is was the ‘rents vehicle. Now he’s home and the rents are standing in the pouring rain talking to the cops, electric company, insurance adjusters, concerned and angry neighbors. Here is some of the damage done by the Boss (as he calls himself):

Now by the time we arrived John was standing with his head down in the rain with neighbors trucks blocking the road, the country boys checking out the truck and the women making sure John was okay. The Sheriff arrived a few minutes later, and controlled the traffic on our country road of Whitepoint Road. My favorite part was when the Deputy asked John (since it was pouring) if he wants to sit in the back of the cop car. John said, “No, No Im okay right now thanks.” I kept laughing at all the neighbors who were making voodoo dolls of my brother all evening, since we were out of power for seven hours due to the knocked out telephone poll. The local electric company and Verizon had to take out the split pole and replace it and didn’t finish Id say until 11:00 pm. This all started around 4:30.

• Uncategorized