Have yourself a Merry little Christmas. Let your heart be light….How many times have I heard this lyric…how many times do I repeat words or lyrics in song, without considering the impact it might have if I just….listen. The weekend came and went so quickly, I met my co-workers for a work event downtown Friday evening, local Christmas Parade Saturday, Football, Friends and lights today….That’s what happened in a blink of a sentence or two. What made it so different? I feel more present, rested, less stressed, more focused.

I had a couple of artificial Guardian Ad Litem deadlines, for example. Usually when something falls in my day like this I panic, I mull over and over and eventually frantically get it done by fitting in the time at the most inconvenient time of the day. Today I sent a few emails, finished a couple of legal documents and woke up early to get all this catch-up accomplished. I felt good not only knocking that out early today, but also felt extremely lighter in general.

Spending time together as a family and with others has been incredibly enjoyable, especially as we prepare for the holiday. All the decorations everyday immediately give me fuzzy feelings of home. I think of my mother, how hard it is to be away from her at this time of year and has been this way for too long. She also has nearly single-handedly provided 2/3 of my Christmas decorations. This time of year I don’t fear the troubles or have the anxieties, but rather feel generally more at ease, missing others like my Mom and the Ashworth’s. I feel that one of my weaknesses is sensing the environment surrounding me. That lack of insight to see what is right there…I am learning slowly to see that world around me, to let it in, to take the good with the bad. Especially during the holiday season, to lighten my heart and leave my troubles behind.

• Uncategorized