I recall that moment in 2008, when I first attended a NAMI Connection Support group. In that moment I was nervous to step foot into a mental health support group, not even considering sharing with strangers my own struggles. I lived in Southern Maryland with my parents at the time. I was living in recovery from my first series of hospitalizations for my BP 1 diagnosis with Psychotic features that I underwent on and off in 2007. Following the hospitalizations in 2007, I experienced agoraphobia, crippling depression. I remember laying on the couch day after day watching the sunrise to sunset, sitting in complete silence and watching the days turn to months. As 2008 came, I found an online resource for a newly forming NAMI peer support group in Lexington Park. Walking into that meeting my palms were sweaty, my voice as I shared in check-in at the beginning quietly carried in the room while I teared up and choked on my words. What I felt after that moment, in that first Connection Recovery Support Group, was a immense feeling overcome me, of relief. I felt supported, and for the first time since my life came crashing down around me, I felt that I was not alone. This moment, I still vividly remember. And I keep at the forefront of my mind this weekend, as I virtually train a new batch of facilitators for NAMI Florida.

After that first group I attended in 2008, I became a NAMI certified facilitator. Soon after that, a state and national trainer for the NAMI Connection program. In 2009, I met Jason and haphazardly also met the Military life. As we moved from place to place, from Maryland to San Diego, to Virginia then to New Jersey and back to Virginia. And now to Jacksonville. I have supported various NAMIs in this program especially as a facilitator and trainer. Probably have led over 200 groups, and trained even more facilitators over the course of these 15 years. I love every moment of helping certify others to be NAMI peer facilitators. After all these years I continue. The model of Connection support groups stays true no matter what affiliate or state you are a part of, one group should and will be modeled the exact same way no matter where you are. And further, we attend these meetings to feel better than when we came in, to model hope and have a safe space like in these groups, where race, religion, politics do not have a place. Where someone can be lifted up, and instantly feel that relief that I once felt.

There is a woman in the group of trainees, we will call her Kristy. Kristy has recently found NAMI like I had years ago. She is asking questions, so determined to be the best facilitator possible. Kristy’s determination, her desire to help others and her energy is why I still devote my time to the cause of training new Connection facilitators. It is why I still lead and facilitate NAMI Connection meetings in Jacksonville to this day. I believe in the power of Connection, of peer support to truly change peoples lives.

I am conducting this training virtually on zoom, with an amazing team of producers and Co-trainers. This experience is a win-win for me. I get to do what I love. I get to help others realize their abilities to facilitate. While I am sacrificing precious time with the family, I am lucky in that I have the most wonderfully supportive husband, who not only understands but encourages me to do this. He took the girls today to “Bounce-a-poolooza” on the NAS Jacksonville Base while I trained. He even took the Hazel’s friend along with them. I do not know how I became so lucky to have such a sweet hubby and loving kiddos. But they never ask questions, or get upset about the time away. Along with the training today, we did a total re-haul organization of the kitchen. To say I am exhausted is an understatement, and I have another full day of training tomorrow (Sunday). Despite the exhaustion, I am filled with hope, for the future of this program, of these newly trained facilitators. NAMI changed my life all those years ago. I continue to give back in a way to NAMI, as a trainer and facilitator of NAMI Connection Recovery Support Groups for this. It has selfishly kept me accountable for my own issues. But most importantly, it has provided that avenue to help hundreds of ppl in a peer-led self help setting see their own worth, to aid in their own recovery and be their own advocate, and to overcome the challenges set before us by never giving up hope.

• Uncategorized