I have attempted with every ounce of my being to prevent the hypomanic symptoms, but it seems it has appeared, beyond my control. For those unfamiliar with hypomania it is classically defined in the DSM-5, as elevated mood, increased energy, rapid thinking, heightened anxiety, assertiveness, less need for sleep, irritability or inability to focus. Hypomania is a feature of mood disorders, like my diagnosis of Bipolar 1 disorder. Hypomania can last long periods of time and usually pervades and affects work, sleep, home life and general tasks. I luckily am resting this week, and caring for my mental well being. I wanted to take a minute to explain the difference between hypomania and mania.

Can someone with hypomania be fully functional?

Hypomania can be positive when the symptoms coalesce to produce an extremely goal-oriented and focused individual. Functional people in a hypomanic state are able to keep their goals rational and concise, and they can plan around them accordingly. Freud believed, for instance, that people are fully functional when they retain the ability to do three things: work, play, and love. Hypomania becomes a problem, however, if risky behaviors emerge or if the episode progresses into mania or depression.

How can people with bipolar disorder control hypomania?

DddSome people with bipolar develop the ability to understand and control hypomania, preventing it from becoming a manic episode. Those who control hypomania explain that they rely on a few key strategies: learning how to assess their state via intensity, awareness, functionality, and comfort, recognizing their state and separating their feelings from their reactions, and taking an inventory of behaviors that adversely affect others. (QUOTED from Psychology Today article)

So this is my reality at the moment. Hypo-drive. If I were to move past hypomania into mania, my life would begin to unravel at the seams… I have engaged in incredibly risky behaviors, legal trouble, drug use, addiction, grandiose delusions. I will give an example of a delusion I experienced in the past. I went to a friend’s in ground pool once, thinking I was an Olympic diver, I Began doing backflips off the edge of the pool. Something I had never imagined I would do otherwise. If I slide into Mania or psychosis, my brain will suffer the consequences of another severe episode. Which generally gets worse with each occurrence. So as you might imagine I want to avoid in patient hospitalization at all costs to treat my lingering storm of mania ahead. If I loose complete control, it will take time and a lot of effort to return to my functional state. Therefore, my energies are concentrated on keeping the symptoms at bay as much as possible. ]

As you know I have been seeking treatment and alterations to my medications under the supervision of my psychiatrist, Generally, atypical anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers are prescribed to treat hypomania. Guess what? I take those already. The disrupted and lack of sleep is the major culprit. I am taking any and all recommendations from anyone on sleepless. I have been told to try Benadryl , or melatonin. I have been prescribed a new drug called QuiviQ. It is a non habit forming sleep aid. Unfortunately a prior authorization is needed from insurance. Add a few days for shipping….the result is i am still without medical intervention for sleep. And will be for several days.

I am trying every trick in the book for sleep. Long shower before bed, reading, herbal tea, resting….none of it affects me too much. As I write this I am growing rather sleepy. I will not fight it and rest if I can. I have been up after all for 14 hours .

Today I joined a zoom IOP (Intensive Out Patient ) hospitalization program. My intent is to do whatever possible to manage these glowingly unmanageable symptoms. I see my regular therapist tomorrow afternoon for an “emergency “ appointment. I am trying to be proactive to manage this. It is proving difficult. I want to do whatever I can to avoid in patient hospitalization. When I attend this program starting tomorrow, I will try my best to listen. To take all of the advice and continue to try to recover this week. In general as I type I am physically and mentally exhausted. I want more sleep and I want this cpap adjustment to work. I just need to be patient, less irritable, and be open-minded to new ideas to get through this difficult time.

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