How you doin?

Lately I have tried to check in mentally and emotionally with myself. I feel pretty good, level moods mostly, good sleep routine, overall health improving steadily. I have been working out 4-5 times a week, which is exhausting my body, and my mind sometimes overstimulated with work, family and outside obligations. What I am lacking…is a conscious effort to regulate my emotions at times as well as staying on top of anxiety symptoms. I find myself idly ( I would hope some might relate) worrying about my “to-do” lists mentally in my head, letting the weight of such overcome my focus to breathe or place a foot in front of the other. If I feel this way, I seek comfort. Whether its distracting myself temporarily with my phone, turning to food, or reaching out to a friend. I am shit at catching that thought, that comfort, and redirecting it to a positive shift. For example. Yesterday was rough at work. I have legal reports that I turned in, several of them. These reports need a lot of editing still and I am the process of updating. Instead of making any headway this afternoon, I allowed the overwhelming dread of pile up in my brain to take over. Surprisingly I didn’t gorge on a snack. I didn’t have the time to do so anyway. Also did not reach for my mental tools to conquer these negative thought patterns. I let them fester, for a good part of the evening. After a busy evening of lacrosse practice for Ella’s team that I assistant coach, I went home, ate and went to bed. Hoping against hope that I would awake refreshed to try again this morning. I am definitely in a better mindset. Took my maintenance mental health meds first thing as well. My mind is clearer, and I can think a little more fluidly. Sometimes struggling with mental health, I have to remind myself that a lot of people illness or not, have similar battles. So I learned a lesson from this week. Number one, I am one person. I have limitations. I can check-in more often and make sure I am prioritizing my health and well-being. Number two, I hope to redirect these negative spirals sooner. Catch myself in the moment, breath, meditate, ingest positivity and exuding confidence. Number three, I recognize that while I need to check-in, I do in a way already, being hyper-vigilant to some extent. Instead I hope to focus on one thing, one step ahead, and lessen the worries around me. Not to allow my anxious tendencies to take hold. Finally, to remember that I am a Sexy Beast, and nothing, no-one, can tell me otherwise.