One of my favorite lyrics from a Dave Matthews song. I have struggled lately with my mental health. I have been proactive and somehow managing through a second week of consistent hypomania. It has not pervaded my work functioning or other responsibilities. Admittedly I have struggled to stay above water. I am constantly checking in, on top of my increased meds given the situation. Sleep is happening but less than I am comfortable with at 5hrs tops per night. Some of it is outside of my control and I recognize that. I am also working extremely hard to maintain and ride this out. I am exhausted, and worn out. Yet my anxiety and tension is so strong psychosomatically that I cannot settle in at night to sleep as well. Tonight it is 10 pm, just returning home about 30 minutes prior from late lax coaching/practice, child visits, errands and a full day of work. I woke up this morning to do my normal gym routine. So given the day’s longevity, I should in theory be tired. My body is tired, but my mind continues to rapidly fire. I am able to control my thoughts and reactions to others. I am able to have small glimpses of energy and creativity. I am hoping I can continue to stay on top of my brain disorder. For how long, I am unsure. Everyone has been incredibly patient and supportive. I am grateful for that. I know this is not a good state of affairs…but making strides slow and steady. I have a difficult road and fine line to tread, but I believe I can get through this. I am more aware and more conscientious than ever before. More equipped and advocating for the best possible outcome.

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