Getting it done

I am very excited to report that sleep patterns are tightening up, irritability, anxiety and other manic symptoms have subsided. I might have avoided a large drop off into a deep depression that usually occurs for me after a larger manic cycle as well. So far the medication overhaul and working with my psychiatrist outpatient has been a game changer. I have met with my psychiatric “team” of drs and therapists weekly since discharge from the hospital. I feel extremely supported and grateful to have been able to recover from this hospitalization with my grace and ease than ever before. I went back to my morning gym routine, which has helped keep my body’s chemicals further in check. Work has been manageable and even more so on top of my workload. I even managed to attend a NAMI support group meeting. That is not to say the week has been without its struggles. I still am managing thoughts and experiences related to past traumas, which of course cannot be managed in one day. But if you asked me a week ago about this, I might respond a lot differently. I am inching closer and closer to my ability to take on my normal responsibilities.

My therapist asked me how I felt about adding school into the mix this fall. I responded, that I haven’t been so ready in my life to take it on. Bring it. Is essentially my response to her. I have prepared for years to be able to get this going. Remembering what I want to achieve. What my motivation is. Not just to help others, but beyond that. I want to show my former self that I am capable. Social Work is not the most glorious occupation. To me it is everything and more. To me this is what took me so many years to figure out my place in this world. That this is where I am meant to make a dent.

Other than these updates, this morning the whole family is running a 5k together. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. We will go to church then a brunch afterward there at the church. I am very happy to have such a cool weekend planned with the family. Things are starting to look up. I will continue to surround myself with positivity, seeing only the small steps directly in front of me.