A favorite song of mine from written by Dave Matthew’s. He sings, “if the road gets rocky girl, Just steady as we go. I know troubles they may come and go, but good times they’re gold…And if your load gets heavy, girl I will lift you up…I will walk halfway around the world, just to sit down by your side. And if the road gets rocky girl, just steady as we go” . I sit and reflect on his calming words. All of the things and limitations that I wish I didn’t have at the moment. I have a lot of support, and I am blessed with a wonderful family.
This adjustment to living without a traditional stomach is difficult. I am still learning my limits. I made my glorious return to the gym in the past week. Mostly walking for thirty minutes and some light reps on the weigh machines. Relearning and adapting to my new normal, on top of that I returned to work this week. It has certainly been a learning curve.
Perhaps one of the more challenging balancing acts has been maintaining my prescription medications through crushed form daily, along with a multitude of vitamins and calcium citrate. I think the hardest thing with this new adaptation over the course of the next few months is not the routine of crushing about 10 meds daily, but the overall fear of managing my sleep, my moods and ensuring that stress remains low and that I remain as functional as possible with my mental health.
I am not going to lie, recovery from Gastric Bypass surgery has been a bitch at times. From the daily pain and occasional integration. I feel some days that it is slowly improving. Others I am not so sure. One of my meds, my antidepressant. I had to discontinue due to it not being crushable. I don’t know if there is another solution but in the meantime I will do what I can to manage.
This evening I left my Ritalin patch on alittle too long into the night, hence the wide awake and bushy tailed approach to my evening. I counteracted it with a medicine that intends to get me to sleep but is not always successful.
Finally, I am not shocked, but pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of concern, support and relatability from others over the past few weeks. It means the world to me to have such extremely caring people in my life. To my husband, thank you for being steadfast and so wonderful through this process. To my girls, you have both stepped up and offered such a bright light to my day. And to my friends locally and distant family. Thank you for always making me feel so special. For seeing what I try so desperately to see introspectively. You are all amazing and I appreciate every moment, every phone call, and all the words of encouragement.
So now that I got that off my chest, I might find it easier to get some rest and remember to myself as I head to dreamland, that troubles will come and go, and the road will get rocky, but steady as I go.
The Seascapechronicles 