The world in my seascape. The chronicles of my world.
Author: seascape228
What it means to me to be a mom. It is the most rewarding, gut-wrenching, anxiety-ridden, and soul changing experience that i have come to love. My girls. Ella and Hazel. Made me in part who I am today. Their love, their sweet words, can pierce my deepest sorrow on a dark day. Their eyes, … Continue reading To be a mom….Mother’s Day 2023
Yesterday I ran a 5k, my first road race in years. Was it glorious? For my mind yes, yes it was. For my body? No not really. In all of my efforts to build my endurance the past 6-8 months working out regularly…I was still a little ill prepared. I ran it, mostly. I finished. … Continue reading My glorious race return, or is it?
I am very excited to report that sleep patterns are tightening up, irritability, anxiety and other manic symptoms have subsided. I might have avoided a large drop off into a deep depression that usually occurs for me after a larger manic cycle as well. So far the medication overhaul and working with my psychiatrist outpatient … Continue reading Getting it done
This is the title of one of my favorite songs, by Norah Jones. Years ago, I would sing it as a lullaby to Ella as I rocked her to sleep. It is about searching for a sign in the sky, for a sign to shine down. Searching for the evasive Lonestar. I think about this … Continue reading Lonestar
Today I am returning to work, after two weeks of sick leave. Mixed feelings of nerves and excitement. The weekend was very relaxing and just what I needed. I am in a better place overall, the sleep still lighter average 6 hours, in addition to some day time napping. The anxiety is nearly non existent … Continue reading Off to work I go
Self- Talk is a large part of anyone’s life. Talking kindly to yourself is at the root of being brave. “We” constantly and subconsciously have thoughts running through our minds at any given time. I am learning to chuck the negative thoughts out the window. I stop myself in my tracks. The ones that cut … Continue reading SGs Real Talk and Self Care Saturday PII
I believe the mind is capable of both extraordinary things and surprises you as well with its ability to conform and process new information. I also believe these abilities can be veiled in negative consequences. For me one of those blessings/curses is my gift of a decent memory capacity, especially for long term memorization. As … Continue reading Identifying flaws and holes in time.
Today I had a really long and exhausting day. Which normally would have been a mundane mid week check in on a Wednesday night. Today I was released from the hospital after being hospitalized for psychiatric reasons. Prior to this I had a nearly 11 year stretch since my last hospitalization in 2012. I was … Continue reading Back again…
I am not here to prove a point. I am going off the map. Take what you will from this. Uncharted territory. I know I can do this. I am choosing myself this time. I choose you.
Coaching is something that comes easy to me. I love working one on one with youths involved in sports. It is such an important outlet socially. It provides a sense of leadership, teamwork, and confidence. I have watched these pre-teen girl laxers grow and excel at the sport. The most impactful part of volunteering as … Continue reading Coach SG closes out another FIGL Lax season
I mentioned in a previous post, equating my current state of affairs as being on a non-stop roller coaster that I couldn’t get off. I will say that today, I liken my moods more to a theme park. I read a quote that struck me: “There will be good days, bad days, light days and … Continue reading Theme Park
I will let others know as a precursor to the material in this post—It is heavy, and could be triggering. The quote above is one I chose today, a quote on any other day would not strike me. I chose it from a bowl in front of me to take one—at a woman’s funeral service … Continue reading “Truth never damages a cause that is just”-Mahatma Gandhi
When I think about this or that occurrence in my life, I have not ever equated such with a brave choice or necessarily the right decision. Seeing other people around me being brave made me want to be as courageous. As days pass, I find myself going through the motions, taking the next step. I … Continue reading Braver than you know
The past two nights Ive had upwards of 7 hours of sleep. As a result the past couple of days have been filled with more focus and less anxiety. I have subsequently had good days at home and a nice weekend. Yesterday was Jasons birthday. I worked from home, and did some chores. Cleaned the … Continue reading More sleep= better days
Lately I have had trouble staying asleep. I am still getting somewhere between 5-7 hours of sleep. Not enough. My body and mind are very powerful when lack of sleep sets in. I take my sleeping med and get into bed around 9/30pm. Like clockwork I am awake by 2am, naturally. I am working so … Continue reading The power inside
The Seascapechronicles 