Tuesday 8/27/24 is my surgery date. My bariatric surgeon, Dr. Eli will perform a R-NY gastric bypass. The past three weeks I have been on a liquid diet in preparation for the surgery, and have lost close to 20 pounds from that. I am not nervous. I am extremely hopeful and relieved to have this … Continue reading Bariatric Surgery 8/27/24 Pre-op check-in
Tag: support groups
Back to reality
I spend the early morning hours trying to coax myself back to sleep. The last few days I have had some disrupted sleep, spending the 3-4am hour lying awake and trying desperately to fall back asleep. I despise when my routine is thrown off and my mood starts to shift. Lately I have struggled with … Continue reading Back to reality
A day in the life.
My bestest friend on the planet suggested that I blog about what it is like, living and functioning with my bipolar 1 disorder. What I experience, how my behavior might fluctuate, how I respond to others, what I am thinking. How difficult it is for me to function or expected to be rather, high functioning. … Continue reading A day in the life.
To be at peace with self
We live in a society that is obsessed with being thin. Whatever it might be called “fat phobia” or otherwise, when life gets tough, to try this or that diet or exercise regime. Fat phobia has become so ingrained in our culture that it is almost unrecognizable to the naked eye. Today’s diet culture doesn’t … Continue reading To be at peace with self
Everything is going to be okay
Sometime the simplest concept is the most difficult to practice. Today my best friend, shared an album with me that I immediately dismissed. Its message is one of positivity, and just that being okay. At first I had this preconceived notion, judged the material, the album. When I settled into the beat a little more … Continue reading Everything is going to be okay
Words
Words have the power to elevate or destroy. As Joseph Conrad once said, “There is a power in the spoken word…and a word comes far—deals destruction through time as the bullets flying through space.” There have been times in my life where words injured me, at times I conceived beyond repair. Now, I do not … Continue reading Words
Graduate school update
Greetings my lovely readers. A general update on school. I survived my first week online. It is strange not attending a lecture hall or meeting my professors in person. The degree I am seeking is for a Masters in Social Work through Florida State part-time online program. It will take me three years to complete. … Continue reading Graduate school update
To my dad on Father’s Day
Spring, 2009: The infamous man, aka Papa Joe to our girls. This picture is a wonderful memory with my Dad, on the deck of our old family home in Maryland. The backdrop of the Potomac River, just as I remember it. Now our family living in Florida, I do not get to visit him and … Continue reading To my dad on Father’s Day
To be a mom….Mother’s Day 2023
What it means to me to be a mom. It is the most rewarding, gut-wrenching, anxiety-ridden, and soul changing experience that i have come to love. My girls. Ella and Hazel. Made me in part who I am today. Their love, their sweet words, can pierce my deepest sorrow on a dark day. Their eyes, … Continue reading To be a mom….Mother’s Day 2023
Getting it done
I am very excited to report that sleep patterns are tightening up, irritability, anxiety and other manic symptoms have subsided. I might have avoided a large drop off into a deep depression that usually occurs for me after a larger manic cycle as well. So far the medication overhaul and working with my psychiatrist outpatient … Continue reading Getting it done
Off to work I go
Today I am returning to work, after two weeks of sick leave. Mixed feelings of nerves and excitement. The weekend was very relaxing and just what I needed. I am in a better place overall, the sleep still lighter average 6 hours, in addition to some day time napping. The anxiety is nearly non existent … Continue reading Off to work I go
Theme Park
I mentioned in a previous post, equating my current state of affairs as being on a non-stop roller coaster that I couldn’t get off. I will say that today, I liken my moods more to a theme park. I read a quote that struck me: “There will be good days, bad days, light days and … Continue reading Theme Park
“Truth never damages a cause that is just”-Mahatma Gandhi
I will let others know as a precursor to the material in this post—It is heavy, and could be triggering. The quote above is one I chose today, a quote on any other day would not strike me. I chose it from a bowl in front of me to take one—at a woman’s funeral service … Continue reading “Truth never damages a cause that is just”-Mahatma Gandhi
Braver than you know
When I think about this or that occurrence in my life, I have not ever equated such with a brave choice or necessarily the right decision. Seeing other people around me being brave made me want to be as courageous. As days pass, I find myself going through the motions, taking the next step. I … Continue reading Braver than you know
Sarbear check-in
Often times when I reflect on myself, it is struggle to identify the cause of continuous negative sense of self worth. With any analysis, the first instinct or reaction is to naturally say what or how did this happen? What changed, what caused this event or series of chain reactions? Our investigatory nature feeds on … Continue reading Sarbear check-in
The Seascapechronicles 