As the Christmas season briskly approaches, I am just doing my best to keep up. I have had some major setbacks with my physical pain levels, mostly in my lower back. This combined with the pace of life right now, I don’t really have the time to deal with it. The back pain has slowly settled back in, with some idle sitting at the desk during the day, combined with weight gain. I know what I need to do to try to manage the pain, or try to work through it, its just a major annoyance, especially this time of year.

The back pain stems historically from bad posture, but also from a car wreck where I was rear ended by a drunk driver, who barreled into my Explorer in 2006 as I was finishing up my Bachelors Degree at St. Marys College of Maryland. That car wreck, combined with a few other mental and environmental factors drove the early onset of my first manic break. I think back to that time when it seemed that my body was constantly on fire. When it hurt to move, or breathe. Over the years I kept symptoms at bay through two things, 1)Mental health treatment, and 2) exercising. Through many years after college I found running or lifting to be so therapeutic on its own. I ran several full marathons and 7 half marathons. Where we lived last in Norfolk, I spent more time lifting, and most likely, protecting my back with movement and muscle development.

So here I am, now trying to manage. I hope in the new year to work on managing my time more efficiently, and make time for the exercise. In the meantime, I am resting a little on a lazy Saturday morning. Hope to get into the spirit today, baking cookies, maybe go for a long walk. Instead of dwelling too much on the pain, or the past…I will tackle this one step at a time, doing my best to stay in the moment and in the Christmas spirit.

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