This is the title of a new song by Jewel featuring Darius Rucker. I can relate a lot to this song. I can also report that with less on my plate I am recovering slowly. I am calm today as I prepare to enter IOP online this morning. I hope that I don’t have another setback, and I am doing whatever I can to relax, keep my schedule as clear as possible. I am focusing on myself, my health and the adjustment to the new normal with the Cpap Sleep therapy. Tomorrow I meet with the Mayo Sleep team, and hopefully some adjustments are made. Crossing my fingers that this process gets easier with time, with my sleep patterns.

I have come around slightly, turned a corner with a combination of hard work on my own, medicine adjustments, supportive family and friends, Intensive out patient with Wekiva online, and advocating for my health with proactively contacting my various drs, therapists, psychiatrists, and pharmacists. Everyone is working to help keep me well. I could never imagine managing this hypomania/mania out patient would be as difficult and patience-wearing as it has been. August 15, nearly three weeks ago is about the time I swung into hypomania, with glimpses of mania appearing here and there. Perhaps for weeks leading up to August 15, I was already experiencing symptoms simply by over exhausting myself with responsibilities. I vow to myself after this process and I do recover, that I will manage what I can and toss what I cant. Saying NO, and establishing better boundaries. That is my goal, but for now I am taking it easy…with thoughts of myself pulling through and making these lofty goals a reality someday. Here I go now to IOP (Intensive Out Patient) as I work again to be honest with myself, take care of myself, and continue to take everything thoughtfully and slowly.

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