I will let others know as a precursor to the material in this post—It is heavy, and could be triggering.

The quote above is one I chose today, a quote on any other day would not strike me. I chose it from a bowl in front of me to take one—at a woman’s funeral service I attended yesterday. This quote is quite appropriate. A quote that this woman had written down at one point, among others. A just cause, the truth was right in front of me. The woman that I speak of, her name is Blair. She will always be remembered in my eyes as a smart, determined, beautiful, and sweet young woman I got to know as I facilitated a NAMI Connection Support Group last year locally. Blair was a frequent participant. She was struggling with Bipolar I disorder. She battled with treatment and substance use. Ultimately, she died by suicide on April 12, 2023, at the young age of 41 years old. My dear friend and co-facilitator of the group—Sherrie—attended the services for Blair. The room was filled with family and friends. Her mother and father welcomed us. I offered condolences to the family from NAMI, as facilitators of the support group. Sherrie and I walked in to sit down and held each others hand as we honored Blair. The services were beautiful. The two surviving sisters and the Blair’s father shared stories and memories. “On Eagles Wings” played as a slideshow of her life passed over the screen. I cried…as everyone did. Others honored Blair in different ways through their stories.

Something forced me up, still holding Sherries hand, we approached the podium to share what we knew of Blair. I told the group gathered that we knew Blair for the past year, as a part of NAMI Jacksonville. That she was getting support, that she was seeking help, volunteering at the NAMI Walk, attending events. I shared with the group that Al though she was struggling, she was not her illness. That what I remembered about her was her beautiful smile. Her gentle soul and sweet disposition. What I learned about her was her creative spark, that she had advanced degrees in architecture. That she was loved by so many, she was the class clown of her high school. Her memory and her spirit will live on in everyone she knew and loved.

Her sister shared a story about a painted rock that Blair had left with her mom. She had been planning this for some time. On that rock was painted wings. She had recently painted on the other side, that she is no longer heavy, she is light. Her sister blew some bubbles. She said she would like to think now that Blair is as as weightless as these bubbles, blowing in the wind.

One of Blair’s favorite bible passages was Romans 8:26. This passage says: “The Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit intercedes with inexpressible groaning. And the one who searches hearts knows what is the intention of the Spirit, because it intercedes for the holy one according to God’s will.”

The truth. The truth is that Blair was bright, artistic, and loved. She passed from this world, and left an impact through all of those who loved her for who she was. I believe that she inspired others, that she was strong, a force to be reckoned with. And her cause was just. She fought for all of us to believe this truth. I will continue with NAMI, facilitating and training other facilitators, for Blair and for others who are struggling. That they might find hope and support. To continue to advocate for others struggling with mental illness that they too can find that light that Blair instills in all of us.

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