It’s been a long and exhausting week. An update in general on life, Hazel had eye surgery last Thursday. It was to correct a drifting right eye. She did amazing and she is excited to take a few days off school due to the redness in the eye. Jason has had some residual excitement with his car and continues to feel the ramifications of high water flooding and driving through it one day a couple weeks ago. Ella is doing well in junior high. She is playing girls flag football and loving every minute of it. My health is good and weight continues to fall off. Although slower since introducing soft foods two weeks ago. I feel good and having less pain and able to get around easier. Work has been extremely busy as usual. School is manageable at the moment, as it is early in the semester. One of my classes is a psychopathology class where I get to assess and diagnose cases as part of my weekly assignments. It has been an adjustment to slowly change my hat from someone living with a mental health condition, to someone who is diagnosing another with a mental health condition.

Today my case assessment was focused on schizophrenia. As I read the DSM 5-TR and the chapter readings to make the diagnosis I reflected on the wonderful people I have had the privilege to know over the years working with National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) who had the same diagnosis. They are some of the most creative and inspiring individuals I have encountered. Some of the diagnosing criteria of positive and negative symptoms, delusions, hallucinations, Catatonia…I know what that feels like. I have experienced grandiose and persecutory delusions. I have seen or heard hallucinations in the past. The difference with my diagnosis of bipolar disorder with psychotic features, is that these symptoms of schizophrenia present solely within a mood episode of mania or depression. So as I read the diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia, schizophreniform, schizoaffective disorder, I find it easier to change the discourse in the assignment, to focus on what is in front of me, not to diminish my own experiences, but to change my hat and acknowledge the task at hand. I believe my perspective gives me the ability to see the humanity and strength of an individual that might be facing this diagnosis.

One of the most touching souls I knew that lived with schizophrenia, his name was Jeff. This must’ve been 15 years ago. At the time I worked for a mental health non profit where I was an office manager, billing insurance and doing admin duties. There was a day program at this clinic, and Jeff was a daily attendee. Jeff was an amazing artist. He lived on a fixed income, inhaled packs of cigarettes a day, and was older in his seventies. Jeff drew me a picture of a navy ship, that to this day remains in my dining room. He also drew me a picture of a beautiful great blue heron, that I misplaced over time. Jeff was always smiling, despite what may have occurred in his life, he was an extremely happy soul that I always looked forward to seeing everyday. Jeff and others that I have crossed paths with have reminded me that though the condition is serious and un-curable, it like other mental health conditions can be managed. With support, education and resources available an individual or a family helping that individual might find peace and stability.

• Mental Heath