After living in NE Florida for several years. I have never been so concerned about a pending hurricane barreling towards the state. There are mass evacuations from the west side of the state. We have prepared the best we can in Jacksonville. I hope to have a better idea of an evacuation back up plan by tomorrow. The storm is massive, now categorized as a CAT 5 Hurricane, winds sustained on landfall of 150 mph when its projected to hit Tampa head on. While we will not get the direct strength, we are expected to have winds up to 80 mph and 18 inches of rain. Dear husband keeps saying we will ride it out, it’s just alittle rain and wind. I suspect the effects even for our area to be devastating. We are not in an evacuation zone he says. While we wont have the storm surge. We will have damaging winds, debris, soil that has been saturated for weeks by monsoon like conditions. I am worried. And of course, now hear I am keeping myself awake worried about the storm.

I have been asked to do call trees for work, to all placements and caregivers. Not to mention calling my 40 plus cases/placements to find out their plans and evacuation routes. It’s insanity. We are scheduled to work in the morning, court docket is business as usual. And I have a ton of work to do. But then. The other logical side of me worries for my own family. Maybe I should skip town with the girls and the dog. Risk the traffic and go north. I have a short time frame to make a decision now. To prepare and have a plan.

Did I mention I hate hurricane season? Not even the storms. I detest this time of year. I immediately am back in hurricane season twelve years ago. Twelve years ago was also an election year. I had just given birth to Ella end of August. The first three weeks of September that year I was surrounded by political propaganda, hurricane threats, and to make matters worse my illness had taken over. I was manic and soon hitting a wall of psychosis. I had auditory hallucinations. I was irritable, I even remember pulling a knife on Jason. I was sick and knew deep down I needed help and ultimately drove myself late sept/early October 2012 to a hospital to be voluntarily hospitalized. The next three months I spent inside hospitals. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Jason took care of Ella as a newborn while I tried my best to heal. And yet here we are. Back in a familiar climate. The difference is that I am not ill this time. Am I stressed and anxious? Fucking believe that. But. I am managing and will not let it overpower me.

So with that tidbit of history. Here I sit in familiar territory. Fast forward 12 years, and smack dab in the path of a CAT 5 hurricane. I hope that it pivots and quickly. We are semi-prepared, with lots of bottled water, supplies, batteries, candles, etc. Plants will be brought in tomorrow. Yet it’s midnight. I had a rough night of sleep last night. Will not work. Nope. I’m determined to get a good nights rest. So for now I will sign off. Keep all Floridians and those affected by Hurricane Helene in your thoughts and prayers. I’m less worried about the storm now venting. I am more worried about myself, my health and my family. That will be my top priority beyond everything else and the rest will fall into place.

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