The light in the darkness

This past weekend was my first full night and weekend shift in my new role assessing and evaluating those in crisis coming to a psychiatric facility for treatment. I wasn’t alone, I have an experienced preceptor training me on the overnight shifts. This particular weekend was extremely busy with admissions, due to another facility at full capacity, and terrible storms and humid weather conditions. The behavioral hospital where I work is overly supportive and I love the environment.

As a walk swiflty up and down the floors and multiple units with conviction and intent to be productive…I reflect on what is around me. The lights are dim for the overnight shifts. Near darkness with just enough light to illuminate the floors. It is also intended to be calming. I thought to myself, that figuratively I also illuminate these floors. I assess these individuals with mental health and substance use conditions. I listen to them empathetically with a unique perspective that has been there where they are. I could be the light they need initially, in the darkness they are experiencing. As I pass through the corridors, I greet staff cordially and happily feel I belong and will make an impact in the future.

There were many times in the past when I was impatient, I remember the kindness bestowed upon me by various staff over the years at other facilities up and down the East Coast. In southern maryland in 2007, one of my first rounds of hospitalization, a social worker provided me with resources about NAMI and how to get connected. There were also moments I recall treatment where I was held for months, drugged, restained and sent to isolation rooms. With that expereince I remember something that always drove me forward towards recorvery…my determination and hope.

Presently, I almost feel I am radiating that hope and light forward to others in this hospital. While I am performing assessments, I treat every patient with dignity and respect. I work hard to be detailed with the paperwork once the patient is assessed, bringing that light with me through the night and the dimmed hallways. I am proud of myself. I do not let anything affect me in the work atmosphere. In my opinion, that light should never be diminished due to a mental health crisis. As I get accustomed to this new normal, new shift, new chapter, I remember it is not difficult to light a dark room. I am determined to be that light in the darkness for these patients. That light and hope cannot and wil not be diminished. I did not survive my first night shift. I thrived and flourished in that setting. The light that I exsume will always be there, to help others, see them as an individual first, that simply needs help. My light I believe wholeheardtlly, is stronge now, in this overnight setting. Not only assisting the patiens, but help them see the light too in the darkness.