Becoming.

Life has been a series of storms lately. Storms that I have tried to predict to survive. For too long, I have been stuck in an infiniti track of repetition. This latest storm all comes back to me, like an unstoppable boomerang determined to destroy me. When you are hoping against hope for the present storm to subside and the reality nearly breaks you time and time again. You come to the realization. That you have yourself in that moment. That everything you used to know that is familiar, is an alternate reality, a fuzzy dream that isn’t reachable, a stillness before the storm that will never return.

As the storms subside, I feel the peace and stability surrounding me. I have discovered something that has taken me nearly 20 years to learn, that the symbol that follows me, the great blue heron, isn’t just a source of strength and peace for me. It is far more than I ever considered. It is a consistent daily reminder, it is a metaphor for my own experiences in life’s storms, I am more than connected. I am and always have been the blue heron. I just did not see how to become the symbol before. I couldn’t see it. Now it is abundantly clear to me. The storms will come and go. I will be there, always weathering the storm, swooping in afterwards to relish in the peace and tranquility of the river. The woman in front of me as I stand here, is confident and resilient and yearns for maintained stability. This woman I see will no longer withstand massive thunderstorms that threaten to shake the foundation I have built. I will withstand this last storm and after will seek nothing other than the calm water and tranquility that I deserve.